This is (definitely) a real cafe.

It's (Probably) Real Coffee.

We're Mark's Cafe. We spent our entire budget on this website instead of, you know, premium beans. But the coffee exists. We promise.

See The "Goods"
A cup of coffee that we totally brewed

Find Us (If You Can)

We're located at a physical address. It's on a street, in a building. You'll know it when you see it. Or you'll walk right past. Adds to the charm.

Our (Alleged) Address

123 Vague Street
Some City, AB, T1A 1A1

Hours (Aspirational)

  • Mon - Fri: 9-ish to 4-ish?
  • Saturday: When we feel like it.
  • Sunday: Definitely closed.

This is a map. Trust us.

(We're right here... probably)

Send Us a Vibe

Got complaints? Raves? Existential questions? Send them into the void. Or just sign up for our (definitely real) newsletter.